like everyone expected she calmed down with marriage; or to put it more accurately she died. worked from home where it was harder to notice barely a word got out of her anymore, save for sex, when a wild grabbing passion would appear, begging, put a baby inside me, then back to nothing. she cooked probably and the house was messy and did not flinch even when kissed on the cheek by her mother.

there was no reaction even when she was shown her baby, the one she'd begged for, now carried and born, just a blank-faced shaky nod. she fell into a deep sleep, and then woke up for the first time in a year.

"i renounce you," she'd shocked everyone, who turned around to find her pointing like a curse at her husband, voice scratchy with disuse. "all of you." her mother, concerned, hugged her child, but they screamed and shrunk back at the touch like they hadn't in a year, staring into the distance, breathing heavily.

"youll pay for this," it might have mumbled.

another deep sleep.

"oh my god who are you," they said this time, in quite a different voice, looking at her husband.

"are you- oh my god did i marry you?"

he looked concerned, rushed to reassure her. im your husband, ill get my mother- no, yours-

"no, no wait its coming back to me. hows the divorce going?" they laughed, "i mean ill probably be better at it now that im not, you know, dead-"

"What divorce?"

"oh my god." they startled. "i was- you were married to someone dead, for a year, and you- stayed?"

"you weren't dead, you were-"

their mother said something about happiness, maybe. they were in good health, maybe, they couldnt quite comprehend it.

"goodness fucking gracious i haven't, no offense to anyone oh my god i have a baby, you were doing PIV shit to me so ive not, properly, sorry in advance, gotten off in a year. everyone get out so i can fix that. kidding. sorry. sorry, ive just spent a long time being dead, you know, inky black void and all, FUCK i need to text my friends where's my phone- just a second- oh my god, im freaking out kind of. i DID it. Im alive?! hows the baby, or maybe i dont want to know, no, tell me actually-"

a nurse gave them water. the baby was fine.

"ohhhh thats mine thats my- i cant hold them please dont put it-" they shrunk away from the baby, someone else took it. they stroked their child's hair thoughtfully, tearing up.

"good gracious im an official milf now. im a toxic sad backstory milf someone drive me to a lesbian bar NOW so i can ruin some 25 year olds life, although honestly im freaking out and could use a milf myself right now i think, or, like, at very least sayer-"

"whats that," her husband asked at the same time their mother asked what a milf was.

"dire, dire times, if I had sex with someone and they don't know who sayer is. you dont even know anyone else, not from any far back, not blood or elliot or alice or nightmare, not hedwig, not zag not AJ not yue not boxer not thumbelina even, not no one. not the purple girl from, like, spy kids 3. dire. take that baby to my mom and get out of my apartment, i need space, i need to go home, i dont know you and I'm alive now. the hard part is over," they laughed, joyful like he had never, ever seen them, "i cant wait to keep being alive, i never want to be dead, i'm so glad the hard part is done."